March 23, 2023


Design Plan Love

Premarital Monetary Planning Half 2: Know Your Numbers

Welcome again to this collection about working as a staff together with your spouse-to-be round your funds. Cash is the #1 relationship stressor, and I’m right here that can assist you make it possible for in your marriage, that’s not the case.

Actually, I need to enable you to make funds an space that brings you nearer collectively and helps you reside a life aligned with what actually issues to you.

Right here’s a fast recap of the place we’re up to now:

At the moment, we’re masking Key #2 – let’s get proper to it.

Key 2: Know Your Numbers!

Cash is emotional and relational, however it’s concrete, too. Whereas even rich {couples} could be sad, it’s additionally true that each one the love on this planet can’t pay the hire. That’s why we have to deal with all points to get on the identical web page and make a plan.

The numbers to know are mainly:

  1. Your present monetary state of affairs
  2. The price of your objectives, priorities, desires, and wishes

Hopefully, that doesn’t sound too overwhelming. Both approach, I’m about to stroll you thru it step-by-step.

The 4 Necessities

The important thing to understanding your present funds is what I name “The 4 Necessities”:

  1. Revenue
  2. Bills
  3. Property
  4. Money owed

1. Revenue

This implies any cash coming in – that means you’ll be able to entry it – whether or not from salaries, commissions, items, self-employment earnings, and many others.

For instance, in case your 401(okay) goes up in worth, that’s unbelievable! Nonetheless, because it’s a retirement account, that cash isn’t obtainable to spend now, so we received’t rely it for now.

However if in case you have a facet hustle and also you pay your self out of that enterprise, then that cash positively counts!

Add up the whole lot you earn in a yr, and observe the overall. Then, divide it by 12 to see how a lot earnings you’ve every month. I strongly suggest utilizing your precise take-home pay after any taxes and different deductions like for medical insurance.

2. Bills

This implies something and the whole lot you spend cash on.

Begin by writing out every expense you’ve had for the final 2 calendar months.

This can be a bit boring, however it’s worthwhile to rise up shut and private with the monetary selections you’re making – good, unhealthy, and ugly. Plus, you received’t have to do that endlessly…except you need to!

What should you come throughout an expense that solely occurs every year, like an anniversary or the vacations? You must nonetheless write all of them down, however you’ll be able to monitor them individually from the common bills.

Particularly if in case you have guilt or disgrace about your spending, this can be uncomfortable. It’s possible you’ll even be tempted to take away an excessive amount of from the “common” expense class.

Keep in mind first that right here we’re solely coping with cash that has already been spent! Resist the temptations, and lean into any discomfort to be taught and develop.

3. Property

This implies something you’ve that has worth, like:

  • Checking/Financial savings accounts
  • A automobile
  • A house
  • Funding accounts
  • Collectibles, and many others.

Write down every merchandise and the way a lot it’s price, estimating for issues like a automobile or house the place we don’t know precisely, and separate them:

  • Property that you would be able to’t contact, i.e., a retirement account;
  • Property which are obtainable to you proper now, like a financial savings account; and
  • Property that you simply may flip into money, like a automobile, house, or collectibles

4. Money owed

That is any cash you owe, mainly the other of property. Frequent examples embrace scholar mortgage debt, bank card debt, mortgage debt, and automobile loans. For every, write down:

  • How a lot you owe;
  • To whom you owe it;
  • The minimal month-to-month cost; 
  • The due dates [optional]; and,
  • The rate of interest charged on the stability

Be aware that some gadgets could be listed underneath each property and money owed, like a house. Say you got a $350k house, however you now owe $300k, and it’s price $400k. You’ve got a debt, the mortgage, AND an asset, the home.

Some individuals file only one quantity: the distinction between what the factor is price and what you owe on it. If you find yourself with a constructive quantity, you then name it an asset, and if it’s a damaging quantity, you then listing it as a debt. I want to write down out every asset’s worth and the associated debt, however do no matter fits you!

Okay, who’s able to take a breath?

This looks like a superb time for a reminder that you simply do not have to gather all this information or have all of those conversations in a single shot. I like to recommend setting apart half-hour, 1-2x per week, to get these conversations and actions rolling and go from there.

Your Monetary Priorities

By now, hopefully, you’re feeling extra snug discussing cash collectively. In that case, that’s nice! If not, take a second to replicate on why that might be, and attempt to work on that earlier than persevering with.

Every thing till now was about sharing ideas and discovering particular info, so there wasn’t an excessive amount of to argue about. However now, as we begin discussing monetary priorities, stress can come up, primarily should you get fearful about not being appropriate.

On that observe, let me share an essential reminder:


Are you able to inform I need to normalize this concept?!

Significantly, although, it’s true. Sure, it’s important for you two to be aligned on some key big-picture concepts, like whether or not to have kids. However by way of how a lot you worth having a more-expensive marriage ceremony versus paying off debt sooner, occurring trip sooner, shopping for a house sooner, or investing extra for retirement sooner, and many others. There are going to be variations.

I see {couples} flip these variations into an issue, however they don’t must be. It’s utterly advantageous to have a mixture of joint objectives and particular person objectives, and there’s no reason to fight about it. As a substitute of feeling alone or unsupported by your spouse, the purpose is to honor every of your preferences as finest you’ll be able to. That begins with contemplating…

Your High Monetary Objectives, Desires & Wants

I’ll hold this one easy. Put aside a while individually to:

  1. Take into consideration your monetary objectives, huge and small, short-term and long-term;
  2. Let your self dream about your desires, i.e., stuff you don’t presently have or get to try this you need to do; and
  3. Record out any upcoming wants, i.e., getting a brand new air conditioner, automobile repairs, and many others.

Then, share with one another all of the totally different stuff you got here up with. By the way in which, this is a superb alternative to pay attention for future reward concepts!

Subsequent, analysis how a lot every of these issues would value – estimates are advantageous. If you’re achieved, share with one another whether or not every merchandise is dearer, cheaper, or about the identical as you anticipated. Typically this half is filled with surprises!

Lastly, narrow your list of priorities to make your closing selections. Begin with 2-3 joint priorities and 1-2 particular person priorities every (to the extent you’ve them) to deal with first. In Half 3, I’ll present you flip these priorities right into a concrete plan!

Premarital Financial Planning Series by Adam Kol, The Couples Financial Coach

For questions or help round creating monetary readability, teamwork, and peace of thoughts, go to my Website, take a look at my Programs, or e-mail me: [email protected]


wedding planning community